School has started....lame.
Oh well. I'm in love with a wonderful man. Even if we don't get to see each other everyday...which drives me nuts.... I count the minutes until we get to see each again. I hope that we will make it through this next month and half....he is so busy with work and grad school. I am still trying to figure out a way to help him realize that not every second of the day has to be spent working....will not be easy and i probably won't succeed but I love him and will stand by him no matter what. I think tonight might be the night I tell him how I really feel. I'm so scared to put my heart out there but I want him to have it...he's always had it actually.

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I can't stop thinking about him. He is my everything. My friend threw a curve ball at me while she was drunk...she was like you are falling for him. My jaw dropped and I didn't know what to say...because she was so right...I just didn't realize that I had actually fallen in love with him this fast. I haven't told him...I'm waiting...I'm afraid I will say it too soon and that it could ruin things but I don't think it will. I want him to be my forever.


Way Toooo Long...

It has been months since I last wrote...I believe that is definitely a fail lol.
Lets see where to begin... so many things have happened over the last couple months...

I passed my classes after I was sure that everything was going to end horribly. School starts back up on the

I started dating my best friend Ryan Oct. 31/ Nov. 1...he is my world. When I was at my lowest point he was there and he brought me out of it.  I am head over heals for this boy...we've been together for 2 months as of yesterday. I think he maybe the one...though I don't want to rush anything...we both have plenty of time to be together....we both have 2 years of school left while I finish my undergrad and he finishes grad school. I think I have loved him since the day I met him but I won't be tell him that one anytime soon lol...timing is everything. We kept it a secret for almost a month and then his fraternity brothers started catching on and well catching let me tell ya... AWKWARD. I can't stop thinking about him. He asked me to his work christmas/new years party for this saturday... he also asked me if I wanted to take a road trip with him to Corpus Christi...i'm so excited. As I type this the biggest smile sits on my face...I can't stop smiling and it is because of him. Though the next 2 months will be kind of hard because he works full time and is starting grad school so we won't get to spend as much time together...which makes me kinda sad so I try not to think about it. ♥

Ryan and I spent New Years Eve together with 3 of his fraternity brothers and 2 of their girlfriends...i love them...they are like family. This was my first new years that I actually spent doing something. I got my first ever New Year kiss :)

Work is well work...big surprise it never goes away. Though I don't hate it...I actually do enjoy it. Work starts again on the 5th...good bye break.

I went alum from my sorority at the beginning of december...thank goodness. I love them but I know longer have the energy to give them what they need..besides I would rather focus on school and spending time with Ryan and my friends who got so neglected because i had no time outside of school and my sorority and work.

I still can't wrap my head around everything that is happening...

Nothing will ever go right...

They talk around me
I sit in silence sometimes trying to chime in
I don't know why I have this feeling
I feel like even on the inside circle
I'm still on the outside looking in
No one notices me or cares that I hurt
Once upon a time I use to be on the inside
They use to laugh and ask me to hang out
Now I'm invisible to the girls I once called my friends

Who Knows...

I met the most amazingly gorgeous man i've ever seen in my whole entire life. Ok well I didn't meet him meet him...i saw him and he's my brother's football coach. I couldn't help but keep looking over at him...I caught him staring a couple times...I really really want to get to know him. His eyes are the most beautiful green and he gets these cute dimples/creases in his cheeks when he smiles...his smile is perfect...I can help want to get to know him better. i don't know if its right or not i mean he is 27...though i'm only 20. hes also a teacher at the high school I graduate from though this is his first year teaching. i don't know if i even believe in love at first sight but i'm pretty sure that if it does exist I may have just experienced it. i'm drawn to him...maybe its just my imagination getting carried away.

  • Current Mood

The Complexity of Friendship between Men and Women

Is it really the impossible for women and men to be friends without being in a relationship or having sex? For me I see it as I can be friends with everyone and anyone but lately things have been different...i'm not trying to be vain in anyway shape or form but seriously i'm really confused to why this is happening... As I said in the past...I'm in a sorority...I happen to enjoy hanging out some good friends who happen to all be in a fraternity together. And some of the guys always seem to ask...are you dating this guy(one of his brothers)?? and as always my answer is no...we are just friends...heck even my gay guy friend has been asked if him and i are dating. My first question is why do they always ask? and my second is Why do they all seem to care so much about who i'm "dating"? i mean i get that its one of their brothers but for the love of God...really is it anyones business but my own and whoever I end up dating. Yep that is todays rant...I'm very tired of the same question...or the silly boy who thinks he has a chance to get with me because i'm hanging out with a friend...its just sad that everyone around me has formed this strange habit. Oh well alas maybe things will change...but its doubtful.



Being sick sucks!
I've had this stupid cold for like a week.
There is to many things going on this week.
  • Current Mood
    sick sick
  • Tags


My friend asked me to be her maid of honor! I'm excited though I'm pretty nervous. The wedding is August 15, 2009. She is in the army and over in Iraq right now so she is doing a lot of the planning over there. Technically they are already married but she wants to have a real wedding when they both return from Iraq next summer. Is it appropriate to have a bachelorette party?? Maybe someone has some insight and can help me!?

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I've officially been in school for over a week! Junior year of college=only gets harder.

I went shopping and am disappointed again...I have been several times and have yet to find a pair jeans that I actually like, fits, looks cute, etc. tear. I suppose I will just have to try again tomorrow or something. Perfect jeans DO NOT exsist...sadness.

I am actually home for what will probably be the last time for at least the next 3 weeks...which will be when I come home to get my cell phone! Countdown begins 21 days left! Blackjack 2 is at the top of my list though I do really like the Blackberry Pearl...ugh so undecided.

Went to my friends Fraternity Car Bash last was the guys, good food, and just spend time with everyone. I got to see 2 of my sorority sister which made my night! Snow cones after were amazing and then just hanging out with my boys. Yeah i'm bond number 482 1/2 lol.

Anywho...peace, love, and all that jazz...


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It's been a couple weeks.

I finished the 4th book of Twilight: Breaking Dawn. I love love loved it. I won't spill anything other than its divided into 3 different books but I did enjoy the last part of the book better than the beginning 2 books. Twilight--The first book is still the very best.

School starts in 2 days...blah. So not looking forward to that but it is inevitable. I'm currently sitting at work and going nuts. My boss and a lady from upstairs are talking about not what i want to hear about right now. I guess I just can't deal with stuff like that right now.